Pauline Farris Eddie

is honored with a Medium Bench from Marti Farha Ammar.

Pauline Farris Eddie is the first person who comes to my mind when I think about heroines and specifically my heroine is my Sitti. Sitti is an Arabic word which means "my grandmother." It is not just the word for grandmother, but it also includes the personal pronoun "my" by the long ee ending.

Sitti was born Pauline Farris and became Pauline Farris Eddie when she married my grandfather, B.D. "Babe" Eddie. Sitti was born in Oklahoma. Her parents were both immigrants from Lebanon and therefore Sitti spoke colloquial Lebanese Arabic and maintained a strong cultural connection to her Arabic heritage.

When I think of all the things that make Sitti special from other Lebanese/Arabic grandmothers, I realize that in many ways Sitti was just like the stereotypic grandmother in almost every culture. She loved her family first and foremost. Although she had only one child, Gloria, she gave her life to her, her development, and later her family which included her husband Philip and their five children.

Sitti was certainly the power behind the man, though she never demanded attention or recognition. When Giddi (my grandfather) became successful in the feed business almost overnight, Sitti found herself among politicians, heads of states, and occasionally world leaders. Sitti who hardly had a high school education was always dressed elegantly, used language carefully, and knew how to hold her head high in situations beyond her experience.

Although, in many ways Sitti was like other grandmothers and certainly grandmothers of our Arabic tradition she was indeed unique in many other ways. I believe that Sitti was truly in love with Giddi when she married him. Many young girls of her generation and even today in Arabic culture are "fixed up" with an eligible boy from a similar background. I believe Sitti and Giddi actually fell in love and lived the rest of their life very lovingly. Among all of my memories of married couples in our family and the Lebanese community, Sitti and Giddi are the two that I remember kissing each other and showing controlled but obvious affection for one another. The last time Giddi went to the hospital before he died I remember hearing Sitti talk about him to one of her sisters with a giggle in her voice full of romantic love.

As one of her five grandchildren, I have such fond memories of Sitti that I think of her everyday of my life. I was with Sitti when she left us. She was scared and I was scared, but until her last breath I know that she was trying to comfort me and take care of me, worried that I would be alone until another person came. Whenever any one of us called her on the phone and she would hear us say Sitti, she always responded with the word "albi" meaning "my heart". I can hear her say it even as I write this.

In my days of happiness and my days of sadness I always talk softly and quietly to my Sitti, wondering if she hears me and knows how much I miss her. Sitti is my heroine because she taught me about true love and life. She taught me about hard work and sacrifice. She taught me how to hold my head up with dignity, never apologizing for who we are and where we came from. Sitti is not only my heroine she is also my "albi" today and forever.

Submitted by Marti Farha Ammar

September 12, 1998