Everta Smith Wolfe

is honored with a Brick from Carol Wolfe Konek.

Everta Smith Wolfe's life story is the story of her love for my uncle, Benny Wolfe. When they met, she was fourteen, the daughter of the Methodist minister, L.O. Smith. Then Benny Wolfe, who was older, told his father, "If she were just a little older, I'd be interested in the minister's dark-eyed daughter." To which Willis replied, "Son, she'll get older."

Everta tells us, "I never loved anyone else. I was never with another man. Benny was the love of my life. Benny was my teacher. He taught me everything I know."

Now that Benny is gone, Everta still savors her time with him. She drives to the Sedgwick County Park where they often went for early morning McDonald's cinnamon rolls and coffee, talking, watching the ducks on the water, watching the seasons change, reflecting on the events of the day, sharing memories.

In the stillness of the house they shared for so many years, Everta still talks to Benny. She loves watching the vintage movies he taped and catalogued for her as he anticipated and prepared for his death. She often plays and sings the love songs of the 40s, recalling their courtship and marriage and their excruciating separation during the war years.

When he returned from naval duty, as Benny pursued his education, Everta gave birth to Nancy and Eric, and became fully involved in supporting Benny's career as she raised their brilliant and beautiful children. He told her he would pursue education for both of them.

Everta was conversant on education, science, politics and popular culture, vicariously educated by a man who respected her intelligence and honored her role. They would both have different aspirations for their daughter and for the wife of their son, and they would both actively support the educational and career pursuits of the next generation.

Everta and Benny encouraged me as I struggled to balance family and career responsibilities. They were forward-looking, although they must have both felt Everta had the best of all possible worlds.

I can't remember a time I didn't idolize them both. Everta was a raving beauty, with a marvelous voice. They were a socially conscious, energetic and amusing couple. I wanted to be what they were.

When we learned that Benny would die, Everta and I both believed she could not survive his death. Although she had comforted her parents and Benny's parents and Benny's sister as they prepared to die, and I knew of her vibrant and courageous spirit, I could not imagine her alone, widowed, going on.

Now I can. She brings with her everything she has ever learned. I wanted to be a teacher because my Uncle Benny was a teacher. Now I continue to learn how to live an abundant and precious life from his best student.

Everta honors his memory every day with her way of grieving joyously. She teaches us all, her children and all of their cousins, as well as the next generation, that love never ends. We become those we love. In preserving memory, we instill love in all we do and are.

Submitted by Carol Wolfe Konek

September 3, 1998